That's about the jist of it currently...i finally landed myself a job about 2 weeks ago and have been working my butt offthis week training. Another deli position but hey, it's a job...Which means we are one step toward having the money to move out and get our own space finally! Hooray!
Sadly, with everything going on with jobs and looking for a rental house kink has fallen to the bottom of our to-do list. It really sucks but at the same time it makes sense because of how little time we've acctually had together in the past week with my working early hours. Also being pushed to the bottom of this list is the idea of going to parties and munches due to money/working weekends for me. I really hope that that changes as well because i think that being around others in the lifestyle will help me alot in getting into a good head space all the time. Sometimes i feel like i'm just not as submissive as i think i am and that upsets me because i want this to work. i know that even without kink, we're together in the long run but without it seems akward. my last two big relationships before Him have definately been D/s themed, but only one was outwardly labeled as such. It's just something that seems to fit with me and with what i want.
Bah, i'm not really sure where exactly i was going with that except that i feel lately that i'm not being a good kajira to my Master because it feels like there are no rules, like everything has gone to the wayside becuase of jobs and stress at home. Hopefully things will move into a better direction soon once the job things falls into a better pattern. i've been trying to see my job as being in service to Him because i know it's important to Him for me to have a job right now so that we can continue forward.
So for now...That's what's going on...i'm going to try to start posting more even if it isn't kink related.
<33
Thursday, February 18, 2010
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