what's been happening in my life lately...

Well for one, i pretty much totally forgot about my blog...i'm sorry!BUT...due to getting the job and working as much as they would let me...we finally moved! It all happened kinda fast due to friends being in a bad situation and needing our help, but we got out of His parents place! We painted our room red with a black ceiling. It looks SO awesome! Master even got us a new bed!! Seriously, sometimes i wonder why i get out of bed in the morning. We both sleep like rocks..it's fantastic. Things have mostly settled into a decent routine with Him getting up with the dogs in the am to feed and let them out before He comes back to bed. i still only work part time but it gives me food and gas money as well as money to pay my car loan every month. Rent is friggen cheap because there are 5 of us living here. This place just feels SO much like home that part of me really hopes we can stay after the 1 year lease is up.

Also, remember that blog from back in December about me being jealous cause my friend is engaged? Well...no more being jealous for me. *squee* Master proposed on the 10th while we were away for the weekend in Frankenmuth for a renaissance festival thing. It was so romantic! So now we're slowly pulling things together to plan a wedding for next spring likely due to money and all that....But it's acctually happening! i couldn't be more excited or happy to know that it's really happening...He really does want to spend forever with me. :) So there will be more to come with that as it happens, just slow going for right now.

Even though we live with really close friends, we still haven't gotten to add in protocal or anything like that yet. i'm really hoping that as things fully settle in with paying rent and bills that we will have the time to get a routine going just for us. We've done the usual rough sex and what that implies for us, but nothing more really. So here's to hoping for that!But on that topic, while i was at work the other day Master stayed home cause He wasn't feeling well. He ended up doing some cleaning and putting away in our room as well as leaving me a suprise for when i got home. i came home and went to change(i seriously hate smelling like deli meat all the time...it's gross) and found the suprise He left me. In my dresser there had been a driftwood and seashell heart that He hung on the wall and looped my leather collar through the bottom. It was so sweet i nearly cried! i very much wish that i could wear my collar to work, but the only jewelry i'm allowed is my engagement ring. One day i'm sure i'll have a job that i can wear a collar to and i'm sure at that time He will get me a steel one appropriate to whatever job i am working.

Well, for now i think that's my update! i'm going to try my best to remember this is here and not go so long without writing. Maybe next time i'll have something else exciting to talk about that's acctually bdsm related...lol

well wishes,
scarlet

Yay job!..Boo not nearly enough time for anything good....

That's about the jist of it currently...i finally landed myself a job about 2 weeks ago and have been working my butt offthis week training. Another deli position but hey, it's a job...Which means we are one step toward having the money to move out and get our own space finally! Hooray!

Sadly, with everything going on with jobs and looking for a rental house kink has fallen to the bottom of our to-do list. It really sucks but at the same time it makes sense because of how little time we've acctually had together in the past week with my working early hours. Also being pushed to the bottom of this list is the idea of going to parties and munches due to money/working weekends for me. I really hope that that changes as well because i think that being around others in the lifestyle will help me alot in getting into a good head space all the time. Sometimes i feel like i'm just not as submissive as i think i am and that upsets me because i want this to work. i know that even without kink, we're together in the long run but without it seems akward. my last two big relationships before Him have definately been D/s themed, but only one was outwardly labeled as such. It's just something that seems to fit with me and with what i want.

Bah, i'm not really sure where exactly i was going with that except that i feel lately that i'm not being a good kajira to my Master because it feels like there are no rules, like everything has gone to the wayside becuase of jobs and stress at home. Hopefully things will move into a better direction soon once the job things falls into a better pattern. i've been trying to see my job as being in service to Him because i know it's important to Him for me to have a job right now so that we can continue forward.

So for now...That's what's going on...i'm going to try to start posting more even if it isn't kink related.

<33

Sometimes you realize things you didn't want to admit...

I woke up in a pretty blah mood today which is weird because nothing bad or crappy happened last night before i went to bed with Master and a friend is coming down tomorrow to hang out for the day...Guess i've just been doing more thinking that is really a good idea today.Here's now all this started...

Last week, my best friend's boyfriend proposed to her. She asked me to be maid of honor and go ring shopping with her because he had proposed without a ring. At first i was a little amazed that all the sudden he proposed even though they have barely been together a year. Then it worked its way into making me jealous and angry at her for asking me to have such a big job because Master and i have been together nearly two years. We talk about getting married and having kids, but He always talks about waiting until we are settled in a place of our own. Currently, He is the one with the job and we can't afford a rental house on just what He makes along with paying for His cell and two cars. i really feel like i have been a terribly crappy friend for being so jealous and bitter behind her back instead of being happy for her. And i know that when the time is right Master will propose but i can't help but to feel like i should ask Him to wait until we move out. It seems a little silly for Him to ask me to marry Him when we're still living with His parents.

i've been wanting to go to college and have been trying to plan things for over a month,but lately i have been thinking that maybe i should just put it off and try to get a full time job so that i can easily help pay for a place for us to live. It would push back our plan to move to Florida so that i can get the degrees that i want but it seems like the right choice to make. i just don't know....i feel like i have been a crappy friend and a crappy slave and i hate that feeling SO much.

blah...Congrats if you read this far, i really don't even remember now what exactly i was getting at...*sigh*

love and light

So it's been a few days since i had anything new to share and i'm trying really hard to find something now...bear with me please as i try to figure out where i want to go with this post.

Well, i finally have my kef...my slave mark. Master allowed me to get it finally yesterday and it was one of the most intense experiences i have yet had getting a tattoo. i now proudly wear the Gorean kef on my right outer thigh as a sign that i am slave. i couldn't be happier that my Master allowed me to do this and loves it as much as i do. Hopefully next up will be His mark connected to the kef with a chain and collar which is something that we came up with together to make it unique to us. Every time i see it standing out against the paleness of my flesh, it fills me with wonder and amazement and a strength i wasn't quite sure i had.

i'm hoping somewhat that a reminder like that will help me in my day to day things to remember that first and foremost, i am my Masters slave. This mark will travel where ever i may go and cannot be removed. i treasure it dearly and am proud to wear it for Him.

Well, something interesting happened to me several weeks ago on collarme...i ran across a girl i knew in high school and we started talking again. she has quickly become one of my best friends as i don't have any friends in the lifestyle who live even remotely close to me. Recently she went through a rough break-up with her Dom, who i also know and Master has offered her a collar of protection which she has accepted. i'm so glad that Master and i can help her through such a hard time as she is going through and that i was able to talk her into staying in the lifestyle. i'm not really sure how everything will go from here but Master has expressed an interest in possibly offering her a consideration collar after some time hanging out and getting to know her, if it clicks for us. We've been looking for another girl for a few months and i'm really hoping that this works, not only for Master, but for myself and her as well.

Think that's all i have for now...just getting ready for the Holidays and making presents for family and close friends. After that might possibly be a vacation for Master and myself to Florida if we play our cards right. i sure hope so!

love and light

Because I wanna win cool stuff!

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Soldiers and the holidays

Alright, so Thanksgiving is now over and everyone has happily moved on to getting ready for Christmas, or Yule as I have taken to calling it. Well I started listening to the song Just a Dream by Carrie Underwood and happened on a video someone had made in memory and tribute to the troops who are overseas fighting for us. While I don't personally know anyone over seas right now I feel the need to do something for those who don't have family or friends to write to them. I recently found a website dedicated to that very purpose. I'm not trying to promote them so much as I have decided that starting tomorrow, I'm going to write a letter a day to the soldiers who don't get much, or any, mail. I feel the need to do something for those men and women over there fighting for an entire country and millions of people they don't even know. I'm hoping to be able to collect some things to send in a care package as well because they have tons of stuff listed that would be a great help to them.

http://www.anysoldier.com/ that's the website if anyone is interested in what they do. I know I can't do much, I don't even have a job right now. But I can write and send home-made cards.

So there ya go, my serious post for the next few days...I'm just really glad that I can do something, even something small for people who do so much.

 So some changes have already taken place between Master and myself...It's interesting to see Him taking an even more Dominant position in our relationship. The other night He came home from work and as instructed I had His regular pants and my collar laying out on the bed for Him waiting. He changed and called me to Tower before Him to place my collar around my neck for the outing He said we were going on. I'd never really seen Him like that, I swear it was like dominance was oozing from every pore! It was nuts. So we went to Cirillas and He picked out a new toy for my training and a cool blindfold. Back story a little here...We broke the last toy we had been using for anal training. Master loves anal and I have only done it once without much warm-up thanks to my first jackass Master. So I was a little hesitant to do much but after some coaxing from Him I really enjoyed it. Well, as stated we broke the first one several weeks ago and He finally decided that enough was enough and He was buying a new one. So we got the new one and did our best to give the girl at the counter some good places to go for information.

Well we played with the new toy that night and it was fuckin fantastic! *drools* It vibrates like fucking crazy! The blindfold really helped me to let go I think...Like when He finally told me to come, I did it. I've never been able to do that before without asking...He just said and it happened. It was definately amazing. And then a few days ago He grabbed my old leash along with one of the chains from my bondage pants and tied it tp the lower leg of the bed on my side. So now at night when I go to bed He wraps the chain around my ankle and clips it to itself. I feel secure and safe with that chain against my skin. I love it. He was even suprised when I chained myself when He forgot last night. Even when we're just hanging out sometimes I'll put the chain on, it helps ground me and it's really peaceful to have that constant reminder of what I am.

And on that note, I think I'm going to leave this topic for now and write something a little more serious.
Peace and light